cream soda, meet white shoe

i finally buckled down and bought white canvas shoes yesterday. i've been putting off purchasing white sneaks because white is a dangerous (non)colour...especially for me (i don't know that that needs explaining). i already own these shoes in forest green (accidentally stolen from liquidation world...) and i do happen to have a pair of haggered white canvas keds slip-ons that i've had since the dawning of time (two years), which i have actually managed to (with routine bleaching) keep relatively white. however, neither of these pairs of kicks have been able to sufficiently fill the void in my wardrobe that has been created by my lack of white canvas sneakers. so, i decided that through my display of responsibility in keeping my aforementioned keds so pristine, i was finally mature enough to take the plunge that is buying white canvas shoes.
after work i traipsed to the granville street (and only vancouver) location of urban outfitters and forked over the 20 bones required to own such footwear. being the environmentally minded individual that i am, i declined the bag that was offered and shoved the shoes into my purse and caught the number 20 back to my humble abode (that is, after a weird encounter with my mother in which i stupidly introduced her to the bargain bin that is H&M). i then proceeded to primp myself for a supposed night on the town, which eventually turned into a night spent on my couch.
while parked on this said couch, my stupid tongue got a craving for a slushie. not just any slushie. cream soda. so, i hauled my caboose off the sofa and down to the 24 hr food stop on my corner, where cream soda slushies are a regular commodity. i decided i was craving more than a small but not enough for a large so i grabbed a meduim cup and proceeded to pull the handle towards myself so that the icy slush could poor effortlessly into my paper tumbler. this, however, is not how it happened. instead, i pulled the handle and the bright pink sugary beverage sputtered out the nozzle spraying my grey sweater (unnoticable), my black leggings (b.f.d.) and, of course, my newly purchased white canvas shoes. actually, let me rephrase that, only one of my white canvas shoes. the one residing on my left foot to be exact.
"maybe nobody will notice." i said to my friend when she picked me up this morning to go run around in the sun.
the first store we went into, the dude behind the counter looked at my feet and pointed to my pink (and now yellow from the bleach i attempted to remove the stain with) spotted shoe.
"what happened?" he asked.
i explained.
"that'll learn ya." he said, shaking his head.
"yeah, thanks."