sibs

What is it about a good door slamming that makes you feel better?

My brother came over for dinner tonight. We haven't hung out in a long time. We live on the same street, but still, I have probably only seen him half a dozen times this year. The last time I saw him was over a month ago.

I was already starting to cook up a feast when he called to see what I was doing this evening so I invited him over. It was only right. I was cooking the veggies, tofu, and quinoa. He would bring the salmon.

We ate dinner, listened to a little music, and he hadn't even been here for an hour when, while I was starting the dishes, we got in an argument. Some stupid fight about where the question mark was positioned on my out-of-the-ordinary keyboard ("Same place as every keyboard," I said, "the key just looks different." He was adamant it wasn't like that on his keyboard).
He freaked out.
Gave me attitude.
There was yelling.
I told him to "get the fuck out of my house".
He slammed the door to my apartment.
I chased after him, yelling at him to not slam the door and bring the 60 or so other people who live in my building into our dispute.
Mostly I think I was just jealous that he had got to slam something and I had nothing.
I wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face.
The stomach.
Anywhere.
But I refrained.
And instead, somehow managing to cut my hand on something, ran back into my apartment, cradling my bleeding hand, bawling my eyes out.
It was all very dramatic.
I lasted for ten minutes without talking to him.
Then I called him, and between sobs (on both parts a little bit, I think), we apologised to each other, and he came over and we drank tea and played a game of scrabble (which, by the way, I won.).

It was all very dramatic.

We haven't fought like that since I was about 17 (he 14).

I've been feeling really irritable lately (Quinn too, admitted to feeling the same way), and have been wanting, more than anything, a reason to have a good cry. So maybe this was it?
I do feel a lot better.

Though, I'm still kind of pissed that I didn't get to slam a door.