dutch, baby

I’m not much of a chef. I’m a musician, a writer, and a decent snowboarder, but I definitely leave something to be desired in the kitchen. Others would disagree. Maybe I’m just setting the bar too high for myself. After all, I am comparing myself to people like, my mother, for example, who could whip up a three course meal using nothing but a bag of rice and bring the house down.

Due to the line of excellent cooks from which I was brought forth, people are shocked when I share the fact that I do not love slaving over a stove nor do I possess the talent of my kin (mother, grandmother, uncles, cousins and brother) who have all been blessed in this vicinity.

That being said, I did manage to pick up a trick or two (when I was allowed in the kitchen, my mother’s ‘sacred territory’). I could cook a mean omelet by the time I was 6 and I know the easiest way to peel a garlic clove is by crushing it first with a knife. These, to me, are common sense but to others are new knowledge and it is because of these tidbits that I do, from time to time, receive a phone call from a friend in need with a question from the kitchen. I either know the answer, or I simply have the resources (my mother) to find out.

What I am about to share with you is the only recipe I ever managed to retain. It’s my go to ‘impress the guest’ breakfast and I have only ever met one other person in my life who knew what it was. You can eat this delicious dish savory (by adding cheese), or sweet (with fruit salad) and it is served best (in my experience) with (real) maple syrup, none of the simulated stuff (sorry Aunt Jemima), or Yvonne’s red pepper (jalapeno) jelly (good luck finding any because I think it’s been years since my mother has cooked up a batch).
Hell! Who even says this is reserved for breakfast?
It’s great for brunch.
You could throw everyone for a loop and toss some ham in there…maybe even some vegetables. But before you get too crazy, just try it the simple way.
With syrup.
And a coffee.
A newspaper is a nice added touch as well.
Preferably on a Sunday morning.

I’m letting you in on my secret.
My world is coming to an end.

Dutch Baby

What you need:

Flour (preferably white…I’ve never used whole wheat…get creative though if you have the guts)
Milk (cow's. Again…never had it with a milk substitute…)
Eggs (chicken. Duck…or platypus could possibly work? Let me know.)
Butter

Ratios:

How many people are you cooking for?
You want about two eggs per person.
This is easy.
All you need is a quarter cup of milk and a quarter cup of flour per egg.
For example: if you’re cooking for 4 people, I’d recommend using 8 eggs therefore, you need 2 cups of flour and 2 cups of milk.
Also,\I'd recommend using only one frying pan per four eggs otherwise it could get messy.
Easy peasy.

What you do:

Preheat oven to 400. (Anna, this is like a pizza, you can’t fry it)
While the oven is getting hot, whisk (or blend) together the ingredients. Try and get as many of the lumps out as possible. It’s not the end of the world if there are some left over.
In a frying pan (size accordingly), melt a good amount of butter. Not enough so that your mixture will be floating in it, but more than enough to grease the pan. (A couple of table spoons should do the trick). My mum likes to do this in the oven itself so that the pan also gets hot and in turn makes for a crispier Dutch Baby, but the stove also works.
Remove the frying pan from heat and pour your batter in.
Once its optimum temperature has been reached, place your frying pan into the throws of the oven, close the door and wait. Resist the temptation to keep checking on your creation. This will only ensure that it needs more time in the inferno. If your oven light is working, and the window clean enough, turn it on and monitor it from outside.
It will take about 20 minutes (depending on the size) until your baby is fully cooked.
Check on it then. If it’s not ready, close the door and wait a few minutes.
You’ll be able to tell when it’s ready because it will look something like this:

You will realize this resembles, slightly, a large Yorkshire pudding.
(Maybe try it with gravy?)
It will deflate.
This is natural.
It doesn't mean you have failed.
It is not a souffle.
Now that you’ve had a plain Jane Dutch Baby, get creative.
You now can not only wow your friends (not that you couldn't before, you snake you) but, when asked, "What did you have for breakfast?" (interchangeable with brunch, lunch, dinner, or tea even, if you're in England), you can honestly reply "Why, a Dutch Baby of course."