We will be listening to the Gypsy Kings

It's been a while since I perused through Craig's list for fun.

Last night, at the Vancouver Folk Music Festival (which I will write more about later), Bill Richardson (one of my favourite CBC radio personalities and also authors) was the emcee and he killed time while on stage by reading off some recently acquired ads found in the "Best Of" section.

(He also gave the crowd his work cell number, encouraging us to send him text messages with words for the 10'000 + observers. I promise, his phone will be going off for weeks).

Bill pulled out some gems for our listening pleasure. One searching a woman willing to sit in a bathtub of pasta and another searching for a "Taxidermist who watches a lot of kung fu".

Veda Hille (a well known singer/songwriter from Vancouver), then came out on stage with four other singers to perform a couple of numbers from her and Bill (Richardson)'s co written musical about Craig's list. (I hear they may be now working on an opera).

Pure Genius!

It encouraged me to, in my down time at the office today, hop on to Craig's list and read their most recently nominated 'best of' ads.

Woah! How could I ever have abandoned this hobby? These are pure comedy gold! Grade A reading material.

I've decided that every now and then, I will post my favourite listings.

Here is my number one of the day. No, I did not make this up:

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Grooming Circle - w4mm

I am a woman seeking a group of 4-6 men to brush my hair in what i like to refer to as my "grooming circle."

I have not cut my hair since age 14. I am 5'8" and my nut-brown locks fall well past the small of my back, terminating just below the buttocks. I am 32 years old but often get i.d.'d when i buy wine spritzer by the case. I work in elder-care, and several of my male charges have described me as both "comely" and a "handsome woman." I used to permit these fellows to brush my hair until i was reprimanded by my superiors.

This is how the "grooming circle" works. I will distribute to each man a numbered brush from my array of fine boar's head bristle brushes (2 have ivory handles, 4 have tortoise shell). Each man will gather around me and take hold of a lock of hair approx 1/4 inch in diameter. Each man will then spread out from me in what i refer to as the "maypole formation." I will let out a long sigh as a signal to commence brushing in tandem. I may need to periodically give notes, and will refer to each man by brush number.

No Tugging.

Please do not suggest music. We will be listening to the Gypsy Kings.

We will all be clothed. This is not overtly sexual in nature. You may take off your shoes but not your socks.

All I require is that you be of sound mind, have clean finger nails, no callouses, and a steady hand. A steady hand is essential to proper brushing rhythm.

For those first-timers who have never participated in a "grooming circle" before and are feeling nervous, I will offer you a ladyfinger soaked in peach schnapps to calm you. I also have wine spritzer if that is more to your taste. Again, there is nothing so off putting as an unsteady hand.

I will provide refreshments afterwords: ginger snaps, necco wafers, and fresca.

Do not bring in any outside brushes.

Please email me your responses and a photo of your hands.

--Lily

PS I have no grey hairs (at least not on my head).